Dr. Abby Lockhart
! I am an attending physician

@ I make far more than the hilarious joke we'll call my paycheck

# I would never smoke because it causes cancer

$ I want children

% I'm friendly

^ I want to be hugged

& I am not an alcoholic
 
 
Dr. Abby Lockhart
11 January 2009 @ 01:37 am
1. Make a list of things that remind you of someone.

Thai food
Far and Away
My Little Pony
Jeans
Silver
Bare Feet
Cream Puffs

2. Make a list of something you collect.

Weird People:
Ruairi
Cait
Rory
Robin
Morris

3. Make a list of moments you would like to rewind.

It would fill up one of those three ring binders with a spine five inches thick.

4. Make a list of people who make you smile.

Ruairi
Ruairi
Ruairi
That weird little guy up in radiology...he's kind of wacky
 
 
Dr. Abby Lockhart
29 December 2008 @ 12:47 pm
Make a list of inside jokes.

1. Anita Coffee

2. Fingering it out

3. Frank and I are always looking for a willing third

4. Healthy as a horse

5. Eric
 
 
Current Mood: amused
 
 
Dr. Abby Lockhart
1. Throwing cookies at Ray Barnett

2. Being called Rudolph's skank

3. Dodging Haleh's Caroling tryouts

4. Being forced to audition anyway

5. Making Haleh regret forcing me to sing

6. Threatening to beat the temps to death with fruitcake

7. Watching Weaver regift Secret Santa presents

8. Itchy Elf Costumes

9. Susan's Christmas parties

10. Rats, Lice and History: Being a Study in Biography, Which, After Twelve Preliminary Chapters Indispensable for the Preparation of the Lay Reader, Deals With the Life History of Typhus Fever
 
 
Dr. Abby Lockhart
07 December 2008 @ 01:48 pm
4. Make a list of holiday songs you enjoy.

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

Twelve Pains of Christmas

Silent Night I hate hinkydoodle.
 
 
Current Mood: embarrassed
 
 
Dr. Abby Lockhart
26 November 2008 @ 11:45 pm
1. Make a list your upcoming holiday plans.

Work
Work
Work
Work
& Work

(This is mostly because I took time off for someone's wedding)

2. Make a list of people you hope to see before the New Year.

I live in NYC, I think I see enough people on a daily basis.

3. Make a list of relatives you try to avoid.

All of them?

Wait, am I counting distant relations? Because really, I suck at avoiding certain Irish...people.

4. Make a list of anything you want.

Socks
Scrub pants
One shoe
Books
Ew
Shirt
Newspaper
How the hell did that get there?
Box of...boxes.
 
 
Dr. Abby Lockhart
19 October 2008 @ 10:42 pm
3. Make a list of things that would be in your dream home

Really bad cell phone reception. (dream home, remember. I don't need to consider the practicalities, but how nice for work not to be able bother me when I'm not scheduled?)

Freezer filled with ice cream.

A doggie door that's big enough for a sneaker-wearing mini to get through.

Large garden tub because bubble baths are just what the doctor ordered.

Enough bedrooms to accommodate someone's herd of children.
 
 
Dr. Abby Lockhart
14 October 2008 @ 03:04 am
1. The ER always turns into a freak show.

2. Treating patients in bizarre costumes is really not fun, or funny. Though once we had a dead clown and Malucci was scared of him...that was funny.

3. I'm going to miss telling Frank the candy bowl is filled with treats only for the Satanists.

4. I never seem to get the memo about whether or not we're supposed to show up in a costume.

5. I hate people who carve pumpkins to look like they are vomiting.

6. The candy corn is MINE.
 
 
Dr. Abby Lockhart
26 September 2008 @ 07:36 am
 
My List:

Lucy Knight
Dr. Mark Greene
Dr. Robert Romano
Fireman Sandy Lopez
Dr. Michael Gallant
Dr. Greg Pratt

My Other List:

Dr. John Carter
Dr. Abby Lockhart
Dr. Luka Kovac
Dr. Neela Rasgotra
Jerry Markovic
Frank Martin

In short, Cook County is a bad place to work.
 
 
Dr. Abby Lockhart
09 September 2008 @ 10:05 pm
3. Make a list of conditions you've hated working under.

Monkeypox Quarantine

With a gun to my head

While thinking Luka was dead

With Romano as ER chief

When Mark Greene died

In the back of an SUV with a gun to my head

In a blizzard

Hanging out of a helicopter over a ravine

In an electrical blackout

When it's a friend on the table

With a herd of MacEibhirs breathing down my neck
 
 
Current Mood: aggravated
 
 
Dr. Abby Lockhart
1. Lab results

2. An empty bed/exam room

3. Replies from the state medical board

4. The kid in two to stop screaming his head off so you can finish the exam

5. The new guy to realize the 'patient' he is treating is a frequent flier and a drug seeker

6. Radiology to get off their asses and send down the films

7. A psych consult for the guy who thinks he's going to spontaneously combust

8. A scut puppy to make a coffee run

9. Interns to stop kissing ass in order to get their procedure logs filled.

10. Ruairi to come home so I can get laid
 
 
Dr. Abby Lockhart
19 July 2008 @ 09:00 pm
1. Make a list of things that annoy you.

People who can't follow simple instructions
People hugging me
People insisting I am nice/sweet/BFF material
Really Tall Musicians being really tall
My alarm clock
Morning people
Traffic
GOMERs
Micromanagers
Mouth Breathers

2. Make a list of things you do that annoy other people.

Blow smoke in their faces
Answer questions before the attending gets to pimp me on them
Ignore them
Wear Man U tshirts
Roll my eyes
Slurp my coffee loudly
 
 
Current Mood: cold
 
 
Dr. Abby Lockhart
11 July 2008 @ 07:03 pm
 
1. Make a list of requests.

Please, fuck off?
Can you go away?
Will you get lost?
Would you eat shit and die?

2. Make a list of suggestions.

You can fuck off.
You should go away.
Be nice if you'd get lost.
Try eating shit and dying.

3. Make a list of demands.

Fuck off.
Go away.
Get lost.
Eat shit and die.
 
 
Current Mood: aggravated
 
 
Dr. Abby Lockhart
06 July 2008 @ 11:14 pm
1.) Make a list of bribes.

~ If you're good, you get a sticker when we're finished.
~ Look, just for you, if you stop crying you get to wear the cool Big Boy gown!
~ You let the nurse give you a bath and I'll put in an order for a lunch tray.
~ I'll write you a script for two Ambien if you take my next over-night.
~ You take the anal abscess in Two and I'll take the next three peds cases.

2.) Make a list of punishments.

~ Being volunteered to clean out the fridge in the staff lounge
~ Getting to be the one to tell the supervising attending they are making interns cry in an unproductive manner
~ Having to babysit the kid in chairs
~ Getting stuck with the med student that questions EVERYTHING
~ Doing your shift in nurses scrubs. From OB.

3.) Things I need to remember the next time I'm at the stables: [locked from everyone]

~ 'Near side' means left side of the horse.
~ Thread the tie strap through the cinch ring and dee-ring twice. Like tying a necktie.(oops)
~ Ball of my foot, not the arch.
~ Peppermints to
bribe
reward the horse.
~ Find out if that really was Pippa I saw out at the jumpy-fence thingies...crossties?
 
 
Current Mood: calm
 
 
Dr. Abby Lockhart
06 July 2008 @ 02:29 pm
1. A list of things you anticipate.


-the attendings at NYP realizing I am more than competent and I so not need to clear every little thing through them if they want a manageable patient flow through the ER. Jesus. I can take a decent history, assholes.

-having the apartment ALL (as in completely) to myself when some people take a trip some place to meet someone. Soon.

-getting my ID badge corrected. I don't know who "Lockheart" is. Idiots.

-After working for six days straight...I am OFF starting about 30 minutes ago for the next 36 hours. Thank god. I'm planning to sleep for most of it.

2. A list of things you dread.


-that the 'ate a lightbulb and three screws, two nuts and a mini-flashlight' guy will end up crumping and I'll get called back to handle it.

-GOMERs. Hate them.

-running out of my new favorite snack.

-that I might actually get lonely while some people are on their trip some place to meet that someone.

3. A list of anything you want.


-Remind Ruairi to take his phone.

-Remind Cait to remind Ruairi to take his phone.

-Remember to call Cait to have her tell Ruairi to turn on his phone.

-Call Ruairi and tell him I miss him at least once a day.

-Maybe.




-Punch that intern that keeps asking me out to dinner.
 
 
Current Mood: tired
 
 
Dr. Abby Lockhart
09 June 2008 @ 04:14 am
Viagra may uncommonly cause:


· An erection that won't go away (priapism)—boys, this is actually VERY painful and not something to bump fists about and cheer.
· Blue vision

Some common side effects with Viagra include:


· Headache—aspirin won’t help, either. Now do you believe the headache excuse? You don’t feel too much like putting out, do you?
· Flushing—you’ll feel like your grandma did when she went through the change. Very erotic.
· Upset stomach—this is where you whine and cry and your significant other wants to smother you with a pillow to shut you up, not soothe you with sex.
· Stuffy or runny nose—there is nothing sexy about a man who sniffles and leaks snot. You won’t be getting any.
· Urinary tract infection—it burns when you pee or you feel like you need to pee every ten minutes. Fun, yes?
· Diarrhea—you really want to risk an activity that causes muscles to spasm and relax while you have THIS problem?

In short, before you beg for a script for the little blue wonder pill…ask yourself if you think you’ll REALLY be getting that much more action.
 
 
Current Mood: amused
 
 
Dr. Abby Lockhart
01 June 2008 @ 01:18 pm
List of things you hate about summer:

July 1
New med students
New interns
Fireworks and the morons who use them
That I start fantasizing about working in a tollbooth by about the tenth hour of every shift.
July 1
 
 
Current Mood: bored
 
 
Dr. Abby Lockhart
11 May 2008 @ 02:57 am
A game of marry/shag/throw off a cliff...

Which of the options would you choose if I were the object of supposed desire here? Marry me? Fancy a shag (look Robin, I can pretend to be British too)? Would you rather throw me off a cliff?
 
 
Current Mood: amused
 
 
Dr. Abby Lockhart
04 May 2008 @ 02:48 am
1. Make a list of things you love about your significant other.


He puts up with me.

He never lectures me about smoking.

He lets me steal his shirts.

He smells so good.

He sings to me.

He likes take-out.

Great hair.

He’ll hold me while I sleep.

The way his eyes get all wide when he’s really amused/shocked/surprised by something.

He doesn’t push.

He appreciates a good cream puff.

He likes my music.

Fun on road trips.

We argue but we don’t fight.

He makes me laugh.

He lets me play with his hair.

He understands that Maggie and Eric will always be a priority in my life.

He has nothing against poptarts.

He knows coffee is its own food group.

He never lies to me.

2. Make a list of things that drive you crazy about your significant other.


He’s so damned cheerful in the morning. Every morning.

That this list isn’t any longer.
 
 
Current Mood: dorky
 
 
Dr. Abby Lockhart
07 April 2008 @ 09:16 pm
It was a bad day/week/month/year.
It was only one drink/six-pack/bottle.
I can stop whenever I want to.
I'm not that kind of alcoholic.
I couldn't find a meeting.

Always an excuse, always.
 
 
Current Mood: blank